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Starku
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Name: Nathan
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Kansas City
Birthday: 2/7/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: God; Jesus; church; The Bible; Spanish; random history facts and ideas; quotes; quoting; reading/writing; poetry; lyric writing; rock music; classical music; skateboarding; playing the guitar; singing; rocking out; anime; manga; comedy; technology; the Internet; video games; role playing; card games; fantasy; sci-fi; art; running; staying sane/insane; thinking in the dark corner of chaos I call a mind; holding on to my individuality; not failing to the downfalls of society; hanging with my friends; swords of all types; sword play; meditation; boarding my mind/horizions; food; cooking; guitars; doing whatever I feel like; Oreos; root beer (mainly Barg's); dressing how I want; my freedom; training myself; fighting arts; black; blue; roses; fire; rain; storms
Occupation: Student
Industry: English Education
Message: message meEmail: email me
MSN: darkstar9999@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  neodarkstar9999@yahoo.com
AIM:  diosrules4ever
Member Since:
7/5/2004
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| After studying literature for several hours, I realize something, my brain has become a resource of facts, deeply encoded in a code which even I need time to understand. Yet, it happens. I was talking a test in my World Masterpieces class today when I realized, I couldn't recall everything on the test! I panicked for a moment, then stopped to clear my mind. This didn't help me, and I still didn't know over half the test. So, I decided to finish what I knew, then come back to the unknowns. To my amazement, the facts returned and my test neared completion. However, after all this work, one question eluded me. This question separated me from the completion of the answers portion of the test. I had even finished the extra credit questions. So, I moved on to the essay. I choose a simple question on the essay, and explained it as best I could, yet still only turned out a single page for my essay. I hoped my smallish hand writing was to blame and that I had more on the page than I thought I did. So, with 5 minutes to finish the test, I racked my brain for the answer to the last question. Then it hit me. The answer became so clear, so simple. I couldn't believe I hadn't remembered it earlier. I promptly scribbled down my answer and turned it my test. Only two other people were left finishing their test. I left feeling a sensation of satisfaction and a job well done. Only time will tell if my little test misadventure was all for not. Considering that my whole grade is based on 3 or 4 tests in that class, I hope I did well...
Current Reason: Read a friends blog entry and felt I needed to come back to my own blog...
Current Mood: Restless... Like a breeze before a storm. A change in the seasons is upon me...
Current Food Craving: No food per say, but I could go for some hot chocolate right now...
Current Lyrics:
Take me into the Holy of Holies
Take me in by the Blood of the Lamb
Take me into the Holy of Holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am
-worship song, "Take Me In"
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| Love, like, and sorta okay with. Are these the same things? Or different things within themselves? I have believed all my life that they are so different, love and like that is. I've never thought for a second that I would have to "like" someone to "love" them, yet some people think different on this. They are under the impression that you have to like everyone. Funny, I do not like my dad, yet I love that fool with all my heart. Like and love to me have never been the same time. Like fades and wanes and moves all around. A lot of you are "in like" with each other right now. I'm not saying you don't love that person on some level, I'm just saying you do not truly love them. Not with the love that is love that continues and lives as love lives. I see so many people "in like," yet they say they are in love. This cannot be the case. Real love passes all that we have. Jesus loves us all, and we tortured and murdered Him. If that girl that I "loved so much," even began to inflict pain on me, I might reconsider our relationship. Yet, somehow this is what love is to people. This is not love. This is like. Like and love are not the same thing. They do not go hand-in-hand. I do not like some people, but I do love them and want them to see God's Grace. I do not like those who lie, and cheat, and steal, yet I love them because they are alive. They are human. There will be those who tell you that you must like everyone, this is not the case. You must love everyone. We are human, and God never said, "Like Thy Neighbor As Thyself," He said unto them, "Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself." I challenge one person who reads this to show me Scriptural Evidence that I must like everyone. If someone can do that, I will take all of this back. Until then, this is my view. I hope it is as true as I believe it is. | | |
| I want to say something. I know that I do. I feel it as a burning desire in my core to open my mouth and be heard. However, I'm not sure what I want to say. It's like having all the words that ever existed, and not having the ability to use a single one of them. I keep wanting to say something, but it get lost somewhere between my brain and my mouth. Maybe it's better that way. What if what I have to say is wrong? Or what if what I have to say will push others away? What if it's not time for me to say it? What do all these words mean any way? What can I possibly have to say? I feel like I'm choosing my words so carefully now that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I can't say what I want to say and what I say isn't what I mean. I just don't know what I'm doing right now and I can't seem to grasp ahold of what I want. But I know that I want it! Is it an it to be had though? Or be won? What if what I desire so much is a person? What if I put that someone before God!? I pray that I don't but I'm so human it hurts sometimes. What do I want!? | | |
| So, it's been a while since I went off on one of my famous rants. I said that I would write more this year as a New Year's resolution, so here it goes.
Isn't it weird how we seem to always what more of the material stuff, yet never want more of the important things? Many people that I've asked said that their Christmas was not so great because of the gifts that they received. What is wrong with this? My Christmas was fantastic because of the people I spent it with, I couldn't care less about the stuff I got. Yeah, I got some cool things, and that does excite me, but in a few years, I won't even remember what I got for Christmas this past year. What I will remember is that good time that I had with my family and the fun I had with my friends. So, I don't have the kind of family that you have. My family is adopted. I had someone bring that up as if it was a bad thing. It isn't. I love my adoptive family as if they were my family by blood. And, as Rachel has said, "Family isn't always related by blood, it's what you make it."
On that note, what are we making families today? Less important than the stuff we get? Let's see, Rachel gave me her old iPod for Christmas, and I would much rather trade it in to spend more time with family and friends than keep it as if it had more importance than my loved ones. I'm not saying I don't like the iPod. In fact, I like it a lot. I use it like every day. But it's not what I find special about it. What I like about the iPod more than anything is that Rachel gave it to me out of love and not because she thought she had to. I wished that I could have done something for her for Christmas. I love my sisters dearly, even if I haven't grown up with them, they've grown with me and I with them. That's something I love more than all the gifts that I have ever gotten save one, the gift of Salvation. That's the most important gift of all.
God is amazing, that's all there is to it. It's by His love that I could find a family that loves me for me and treats me as one of their own. I wish that more people were passionate about God. I have hope that more people will be one day, for it seems like as of late, more and more people have felt like something's missing in their lives. It seems that more people are starting to see that there's something more to life than what our eyes can see. This is a good thing. I hope with all my heart that this means that there will be more people who see that God is there and that He is listening. We spend so much time caught up in ourselves that we can't see that there's something that's so much more. We are blind without a path to follow, and the only one who knows that way is Jesus. If we follow Him, we can make it to the end of the path and find that place we are looking for. All we humans can do for one another is call out to the lost and say to them that the way is over here and they should follow the Man they call Jesus. What can I say, He's a pretty cool dude.
Current Quote: "The Emancipation Proclamation clearly states why they [the colonies] were where trying to get freedom..." -a guy in my American Government class, proving that it's best not to speak when you have no idea what you're talking about (The Emancipation Proclamation was to free the slaves, I think he meant the Declaration of Independence, but I had already talked about that, so what was going on?)
Current Lyrics:
I will run and not grow weak,
Walk and will not faint,
I'll climb the highest mountian to dive off,
And I'll fly high on broken wings
-Disciple, "Dive," Scars Remain
Current Food Craving: I could go for some ice cream...
Current Mood: Happiness abound!
Current Reason: Did you even read this one? | | |
| Well, this is just a short post to say I've been gone for a while and I see that. I will be back shortly, maybe... | | |
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